America as a Satire.
In no way do I mean to offend anyone. This is a joke. It’s just, we make it very easy for ourselves to be picked on.
Welcome to America, where we believe in freedom and equality! Everyone gets a free heart attack with every happy meal! We are also very good at jokes. We have a slightly different name for them though…politicians. You will see their comedy show, Fox News, Sundays at 6pm EST.
In the Northern part of our country, you will find ass cold weather and cold people to go with it. You can also see our grand Lady Liberty. Pay a few bucks and you get to look under her robes. Our gift from the French.
In the South you will find hospitality with a twang. So as long as you are not of a different sex, creed, race, or sports team than the average white male. You will also find Texas, the black sheep of the family. More like a distant, excommunicated cousin. We don’t talk about him. A few miles to the East you will find Florida. The state of orange juice and the worlds worst drivers.
On the West coast you will find the beautiful sandy beaches of California, the richest bastards in America, and more weed than you could ever hope for.
So please, relax and enjoy you stay.
Oh! Almost forgot, take this gun as a souvenir. It’s our foreign policy.
Updates are in the video